Mrs. Gnu is not feeling well this morning. So, being the loyal, loving husband I am, I decide to work from home. The office is 20 feet down the hall from the bedroom, same floor, no minefields, fences or Indiana Jones type of traps across the way.
So, here I am, just hacking away at the morning's to-do list, when my cell phone rings.
Me: "Hello?"
The Missus: "Hi Sweetie!"
Me: "Why are you calling me on my cell?"
TM: "I've been calling you for 5 minutes and you haven't responded!"
Me: (pure instinct) "That's odd, there's nothing in my voicemail..." (Checks both phones for missed calls and messages)
TM (growling): "That's not what I meant!"
Once a geek, always a geek!
Gotta run, duty calls.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
When It Rains, It Pours
What is it with my life, where everything happens all at one time? Let's recap the past three days, shall we?
Friday: Total outage of the entire building housing our company's headquarters resulted in a hard crash of every single computer. We spent all day scrambling to restore systems to a reasonably stable condition. Needless to say, we are holding an ass-kicking contest at the power company next week.
Saturday: A major software deployment and hardware reconfiguring project rolled out to the data center. We started at 5am and didn't finish until.. well, truth be told, we're still doing parts of it. We lost a day in preparation for this (see above) so we came in Saturday morning with a sense of fear and trepidation we haven't had in releases past.
Sunday: I have a mid-term exam due by midnight. I just finished the damn thing and I need a stiff drink! Another one of those "tell me everything you know about ______." Nine of those questions and 4 hours to answer them, one shot, no repeats. I'd be hard pressed to give good answers if I had four days!
And now, for the monthly news...
A quick update on school: I got an A for IT Security, even if the professor did have a typo in my grade. All I have left is the capstone course, already in progress, and IT Project Management. After that, one HELL of a long nap to make up for all the late nights studying and scrambling to complete assignments on time, then on to graduation. Followed by a party that will probably make international headlines.
A quick update on my transition into management: some days, it sucks being the boss. You try to find ways to make things work, help people out, and you get kicked in the nuts for your efforts. There are days where all I hear is bitching and whining; I'm getting good at tuning out the noise and perking up only at the parts where I can do something about it. Still, it's therapeutic for them to vent, so I let it ride, even if it does get me down at times.
A quick update on family: The Skating Gnu had a great hockey season. They made it all the way to the semi-finals. She's made honor roll again, a perfect record for the entire school year. Mrs. Gnu is doing well, still putting up with my crap. God only knows why, some days I can't stand myself.
A quick update on me: I'm still kicking. For now. Who else did you think was writing this!?!?
Friday: Total outage of the entire building housing our company's headquarters resulted in a hard crash of every single computer. We spent all day scrambling to restore systems to a reasonably stable condition. Needless to say, we are holding an ass-kicking contest at the power company next week.
Saturday: A major software deployment and hardware reconfiguring project rolled out to the data center. We started at 5am and didn't finish until.. well, truth be told, we're still doing parts of it. We lost a day in preparation for this (see above) so we came in Saturday morning with a sense of fear and trepidation we haven't had in releases past.
Sunday: I have a mid-term exam due by midnight. I just finished the damn thing and I need a stiff drink! Another one of those "tell me everything you know about ______." Nine of those questions and 4 hours to answer them, one shot, no repeats. I'd be hard pressed to give good answers if I had four days!
And now, for the monthly news...
A quick update on school: I got an A for IT Security, even if the professor did have a typo in my grade. All I have left is the capstone course, already in progress, and IT Project Management. After that, one HELL of a long nap to make up for all the late nights studying and scrambling to complete assignments on time, then on to graduation. Followed by a party that will probably make international headlines.
A quick update on my transition into management: some days, it sucks being the boss. You try to find ways to make things work, help people out, and you get kicked in the nuts for your efforts. There are days where all I hear is bitching and whining; I'm getting good at tuning out the noise and perking up only at the parts where I can do something about it. Still, it's therapeutic for them to vent, so I let it ride, even if it does get me down at times.
A quick update on family: The Skating Gnu had a great hockey season. They made it all the way to the semi-finals. She's made honor roll again, a perfect record for the entire school year. Mrs. Gnu is doing well, still putting up with my crap. God only knows why, some days I can't stand myself.
A quick update on me: I'm still kicking. For now. Who else did you think was writing this!?!?
Monday, May 25, 2009
In Remembrance
Today, we take pause from our busy lives to remember those whose lives are no more. Who gave their lives that we may live free. What is the price of freedom? For some, it is a mere birthright, something that they go though their entire, happy-go-lucky lives taking for granted. For others, it is a hard-fought victory, paid for in blood, tears, sweat and the sacrifice of everything near and dear. For still others, it is a far-off dream, unattainable, impossible, even dangerous to reach for.
For the few, it is a gift, handed off with their last breath, from the dying to the unborn; a gift of life, love and hope, paid for in full. Life and freedom are inseparable: without one, the other does not matter. They are priceless. Yet, the price is paid each generation, that the next may enjoy these jewels of God's grace.
Remember the few, who gave their all to protect the many, that they may live on in freedom. Remember the One, from whom all these blessings of life, love and liberty flow.
God Bless America.
Picture (c) 2005 The Smoking Gnu
For the few, it is a gift, handed off with their last breath, from the dying to the unborn; a gift of life, love and hope, paid for in full. Life and freedom are inseparable: without one, the other does not matter. They are priceless. Yet, the price is paid each generation, that the next may enjoy these jewels of God's grace.
Remember the few, who gave their all to protect the many, that they may live on in freedom. Remember the One, from whom all these blessings of life, love and liberty flow.
God Bless America.
Picture (c) 2005 The Smoking Gnu
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Hat Trick!
We just returned from today's hockey game in the Capital City's satellite community, known as the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees. Well, the Skating Gnu showed them who's boss: she finally made good on a goal she'd set for herself at the beginning of the season...
She finally got a hat trick!
On top of that, she was awarded the game puck, too. Moreover, I have to pay out the $50 hat trick bonus I've been hanging out there all season.
She'll be walking on several layers of clouds for a few days.
After that, probably going shopping. That's my girl!
She finally got a hat trick!
On top of that, she was awarded the game puck, too. Moreover, I have to pay out the $50 hat trick bonus I've been hanging out there all season.
She'll be walking on several layers of clouds for a few days.
After that, probably going shopping. That's my girl!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
April Update
Wow, where did the month of March go? It was just here a moment ago. Maybe I left it in my other jeans pocket and it got run through the washer. Oh, great, now I've got it all over my clothes. I'll never get that stain out!
Two birthdays down since my last posting. One for me, one for The Missus. I don't mind getting older - it sure as hell beats the alternative! I just wish it didn't hurt so much. The aches and pains of age are starting to pile on now. I had a follow-up with my doctor about a sharp pain in my side that's been bothering me for quite a while. After much poking and prodding - "Doc, it hurts right here," "Right there?" *POKE* "Ouch! Yes, dammit! There!" - we finally have a diagnosis. Somehow, I have managed to poke myself in the ribs... with my own floating rib! How the flying hell I managed to do that is anyone's guess!
Oh well. Another month gone, and anther class gone too. This last one was a real bear. (Run, Taco! The polar bears are going to college now!!) They have finally put a disclaimer on the Global IT Management course description that you will spend 30-plus hours per week on homework and research assignments. NOW they tell me! I worked my ass off in this class. Thirty hours is a low estimate, I figure with the weekends and late nights I spent close to 40 hours a week. Thankfully, I got an A to show for all my effort.
I've also gotten something else in the mail that left me totally floored. I have been invited to join an academic honor society at the Graduate School. Only the top 10% are invited. Wow. Just... wow. I never had the chance to do anything like this in my undergrad years. Then again, I never really applied myself like I should have back in those days. The induction ceremony is in May, so I've booked a flight, room and rental car, and I'll be heading down to the school for a couple of days of ego massaging.
I could use the break from work, too. Let's see, where were we in the continuing saga of transitioning to management...
Oh yeah. Delivering bad news. I've never been an expert at this. It reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where they have one doctor that is so good at delivering the "you're going to die" news that the patient and family are left cheering. I can't do that. It's not the avoidance of confrontation or lack of courage, it's the knowledge that I'm doing something that will impact someone's life and career. I want to ensure I have my facts straight before making a decision from which there's no turning back.
I spend a lot of time on the job sticking up for my team against other groups who don't appreciate all that we do, so having to break a boot off in their asses is difficult, even if they do deserve it. I remind myself that it's not personal, and I also try to say that after I have to jerk a knot in someone's head. I'm not sure if they believe me, though. The real problem is if you keep on having to get all over someone who's not doing their job, they're certainly going to convince themselves that everyone's out to get them.
The team has been through a lot this past year: upper management upheavals, a new boss to learn to deal with, pay cuts, layoffs, and the work keeps piling up. It's no surprise they're worn out from all this. Coming in from the outside, it's been a real challenge for me to learn all the nuances of how things work at the company, who's a straight shooter, who's a bullshitter, who's the real superstar, who's the slacker, and who isn't getting the attention they need or deserve. It would be a lie to say that I've got a handle on it, because the moment I think I got things under control, something will happen to bust it all loose again.
You never truly understand these challenges until you cross over to the other side of the desk. That was the biggest surprise of all to me. I've got a lot left to learn...
Meanwhile, I only have three courses left. This one I'm halfway through now is Intro to IT Security. After that, I'm kinda putting the cart before the horse in taking the capstone course (Advanced Information Systems Management) next, then IT Project Management. The capstone is supposed to be the last one but I don't want to wait an extra semester to take it when it's offered next after this coming semester. If all goes well, I'll be done by the end of August. Graduation is in December, exactly 20 years after I graduated with my Bachelors. Expect the party to end all parties.
What a long, strange trip it's been. Hey, wasn't that a song...?
Two birthdays down since my last posting. One for me, one for The Missus. I don't mind getting older - it sure as hell beats the alternative! I just wish it didn't hurt so much. The aches and pains of age are starting to pile on now. I had a follow-up with my doctor about a sharp pain in my side that's been bothering me for quite a while. After much poking and prodding - "Doc, it hurts right here," "Right there?" *POKE* "Ouch! Yes, dammit! There!" - we finally have a diagnosis. Somehow, I have managed to poke myself in the ribs... with my own floating rib! How the flying hell I managed to do that is anyone's guess!
Oh well. Another month gone, and anther class gone too. This last one was a real bear. (Run, Taco! The polar bears are going to college now!!) They have finally put a disclaimer on the Global IT Management course description that you will spend 30-plus hours per week on homework and research assignments. NOW they tell me! I worked my ass off in this class. Thirty hours is a low estimate, I figure with the weekends and late nights I spent close to 40 hours a week. Thankfully, I got an A to show for all my effort.
I've also gotten something else in the mail that left me totally floored. I have been invited to join an academic honor society at the Graduate School. Only the top 10% are invited. Wow. Just... wow. I never had the chance to do anything like this in my undergrad years. Then again, I never really applied myself like I should have back in those days. The induction ceremony is in May, so I've booked a flight, room and rental car, and I'll be heading down to the school for a couple of days of ego massaging.
I could use the break from work, too. Let's see, where were we in the continuing saga of transitioning to management...
Oh yeah. Delivering bad news. I've never been an expert at this. It reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where they have one doctor that is so good at delivering the "you're going to die" news that the patient and family are left cheering. I can't do that. It's not the avoidance of confrontation or lack of courage, it's the knowledge that I'm doing something that will impact someone's life and career. I want to ensure I have my facts straight before making a decision from which there's no turning back.
I spend a lot of time on the job sticking up for my team against other groups who don't appreciate all that we do, so having to break a boot off in their asses is difficult, even if they do deserve it. I remind myself that it's not personal, and I also try to say that after I have to jerk a knot in someone's head. I'm not sure if they believe me, though. The real problem is if you keep on having to get all over someone who's not doing their job, they're certainly going to convince themselves that everyone's out to get them.
The team has been through a lot this past year: upper management upheavals, a new boss to learn to deal with, pay cuts, layoffs, and the work keeps piling up. It's no surprise they're worn out from all this. Coming in from the outside, it's been a real challenge for me to learn all the nuances of how things work at the company, who's a straight shooter, who's a bullshitter, who's the real superstar, who's the slacker, and who isn't getting the attention they need or deserve. It would be a lie to say that I've got a handle on it, because the moment I think I got things under control, something will happen to bust it all loose again.
You never truly understand these challenges until you cross over to the other side of the desk. That was the biggest surprise of all to me. I've got a lot left to learn...
Meanwhile, I only have three courses left. This one I'm halfway through now is Intro to IT Security. After that, I'm kinda putting the cart before the horse in taking the capstone course (Advanced Information Systems Management) next, then IT Project Management. The capstone is supposed to be the last one but I don't want to wait an extra semester to take it when it's offered next after this coming semester. If all goes well, I'll be done by the end of August. Graduation is in December, exactly 20 years after I graduated with my Bachelors. Expect the party to end all parties.
What a long, strange trip it's been. Hey, wasn't that a song...?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Time Stand Still
Those who know me understand the significance of these songs today. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Five-Alarm Breakfast
Life is never dull around here. This morning is a good example, not only of how a simple morning activity can turn into an international incident, but also how it never fails that I'll be the one to prove the truth behind a popular saying.
I got up this morning craving a country breakfast. So, I got the biscuits in the oven, the grits in the pot, eggs all scrambled and the ham cooking away in the pan. Country ham... yum! It's salty and tough to some but heaven on a plate to me on a cool mid-winter's morning. Frying away, I hear this annoying beeping. I investigate:
Alarm clock: nope.
Doorbell: nope.
Washer/Dryer: nope/nope.
Cell phones: nope. nope. nope. nope. (Yeah, we got a few.)
About this time, I hear the phone ring. I'm multitasking, so I put it on speaker.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello, this is the home security monitoring service. We have an alarm reporting from your location. Is everything okay?
Me: As far as I know, yes, we are fine. [I walk over and check the alarm keypad] Yep, there's a code appearing [I read off the number] what is that?
Caller: It's the fire alarm.
Entire family, all at once: ROTFLMAO
Caller: Sir? Sir? Is everything okay? Did you find out what set off the fire alarm?
Me: We are fine. Shall I cook up more ham and eggs for the Fire Chief?
Caller: ROTFLMAO
Thus, I have gone down in family lore and legend as living proof of Jeff Foxworthy's axiom, "You know you're a redneck if the fire alarm doubles as an oven timer."
I got up this morning craving a country breakfast. So, I got the biscuits in the oven, the grits in the pot, eggs all scrambled and the ham cooking away in the pan. Country ham... yum! It's salty and tough to some but heaven on a plate to me on a cool mid-winter's morning. Frying away, I hear this annoying beeping. I investigate:
Alarm clock: nope.
Doorbell: nope.
Washer/Dryer: nope/nope.
Cell phones: nope. nope. nope. nope. (Yeah, we got a few.)
About this time, I hear the phone ring. I'm multitasking, so I put it on speaker.
Me: Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello, this is the home security monitoring service. We have an alarm reporting from your location. Is everything okay?
Me: As far as I know, yes, we are fine. [I walk over and check the alarm keypad] Yep, there's a code appearing [I read off the number] what is that?
Caller: It's the fire alarm.
Entire family, all at once: ROTFLMAO
Caller: Sir? Sir? Is everything okay? Did you find out what set off the fire alarm?
Me: We are fine. Shall I cook up more ham and eggs for the Fire Chief?
Caller: ROTFLMAO
Thus, I have gone down in family lore and legend as living proof of Jeff Foxworthy's axiom, "You know you're a redneck if the fire alarm doubles as an oven timer."
Monday, January 19, 2009
Executive Orders
When they turn the pages of history,
When these days have passed long ago,
Will they read of us with sadness,
For the seeds that we let grow?
We turned our gaze from the castles in the distance.
Eyes cast down on the path of least resistance.
Cities full of hatred fear and lies,
Withered hearts and cruel, tormented eyes.
Scheming demons dressed in kingly guise,
Beating down the multitude and scoffing at the wise.
The hypocrites are slandering
The sacred halls of truth,
Ancient nobles showering
Their bitterness on youth.
Can't we find the minds that made us strong?
Cant we learn to feel what's right and wrong?
-Rush
"A Farewell to Kings"
Tomorrow marks an historic transition in America. Some will celebrate with unbridled, wild abandon, while others will mourn far too bitterly the change from one President to the next. I have to admit that I have a lot of apprehension about the incoming Chief Executive. He has no experience, he's too far to the left, ignorant in too many vital areas, too closely associated with dangerous socialist ideals, too naive and has too many puppeteers pulling his strings.
On the other hand, he's replacing a fucking retarded chimpanzee, who squandered one historic opportunity after another for greatness. Who in turn replaced a philandering idiot married to walking evil, who together did more damage to this country than any enemy could hope to accomplish. Who in turn replaced the chimpanzee's dad, who fell asleep at the helm and set us adrift. Two Democrats, two Republicans. None worth a shit.
You have to go back four Presidents, spanning two decades - a generation! - to find a man worthy enough to be President. Of course, it was the late Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th President of the Republic, who set the country back on course after the dark days of Vietnam, Watergate, stagflation and the impotent malaise of Jimmy Carter. It took real vision, real courage, and a firm belief that America was better that it had allowed itself to believe it was. He was the first great President in a long time. We have not had a good one since.
Reagan understood certain truths about America:
I really don't care what political party he represents. I don't care what colour he is. I do care what choices he makes and how the consequences of those choices will affect my children's children. I'm willing to give the man a fair shake. He's got a monumental task ahead of him for the next four years. But history will be unspeakably cruel if he screws up.
So make the right choices, Mr. President. Don't screw this up. History is watching.
When these days have passed long ago,
Will they read of us with sadness,
For the seeds that we let grow?
We turned our gaze from the castles in the distance.
Eyes cast down on the path of least resistance.
Cities full of hatred fear and lies,
Withered hearts and cruel, tormented eyes.
Scheming demons dressed in kingly guise,
Beating down the multitude and scoffing at the wise.
The hypocrites are slandering
The sacred halls of truth,
Ancient nobles showering
Their bitterness on youth.
Can't we find the minds that made us strong?
Cant we learn to feel what's right and wrong?
-Rush
"A Farewell to Kings"
Tomorrow marks an historic transition in America. Some will celebrate with unbridled, wild abandon, while others will mourn far too bitterly the change from one President to the next. I have to admit that I have a lot of apprehension about the incoming Chief Executive. He has no experience, he's too far to the left, ignorant in too many vital areas, too closely associated with dangerous socialist ideals, too naive and has too many puppeteers pulling his strings.
On the other hand, he's replacing a fucking retarded chimpanzee, who squandered one historic opportunity after another for greatness. Who in turn replaced a philandering idiot married to walking evil, who together did more damage to this country than any enemy could hope to accomplish. Who in turn replaced the chimpanzee's dad, who fell asleep at the helm and set us adrift. Two Democrats, two Republicans. None worth a shit.
You have to go back four Presidents, spanning two decades - a generation! - to find a man worthy enough to be President. Of course, it was the late Ronald Wilson Reagan, 40th President of the Republic, who set the country back on course after the dark days of Vietnam, Watergate, stagflation and the impotent malaise of Jimmy Carter. It took real vision, real courage, and a firm belief that America was better that it had allowed itself to believe it was. He was the first great President in a long time. We have not had a good one since.
Reagan understood certain truths about America:
- We are eternal optimists.
- We are hard working, creative and energetic.
- We believe in truth, justice and Liberty.
- We are a great nation because of our spirit, not government.
- We are a great people because we are self-reliant.
- We have a great future because we have placed our faith and trust in God.
- America, and the promise she keeps for freedom, remains the last, best hope for mankind.
I really don't care what political party he represents. I don't care what colour he is. I do care what choices he makes and how the consequences of those choices will affect my children's children. I'm willing to give the man a fair shake. He's got a monumental task ahead of him for the next four years. But history will be unspeakably cruel if he screws up.
So make the right choices, Mr. President. Don't screw this up. History is watching.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Going Global
Well, it's a holiday weekend, and what do you suppose I'm doing to celebrate it?
Yep, you guessed it. Another class has started and I have three assignments due by tomorrow. Finished one last night, two more to go.
This one is Global Information Technology Management. Should be fun. The books are actually really good reads, consisting of Michael Porter's seminal tomes on competitive strategy (only one was required, but Amazon had a great deal on the 3-volume set so I picked it up for less than half what the University bookstore wanted for it) and good study of how to apply Sun Tzu's Art of War to modern business.
It's not often that you run across textbooks that are actually enjoyable to read. In all fairness, however, these books weren't written as textbooks, but rather as books. For some reason, that seems to help. The closest approximation I've run across to a readable textbook was Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics, and the follow-up volume, Applied Economics.
Update from the last posting: There is no update. Still pursuing leads to explain what happened. Apologies to friends and family for the scare, but this is how life goes. One day you're running around the house with a red towel wrapped around your neck and your Underoos on the outside of your pants. Next day, you keel over. Life happens in between. Don't forget to live it.
Okay, enough morbid thoughts. Off to write papers!
Yep, you guessed it. Another class has started and I have three assignments due by tomorrow. Finished one last night, two more to go.
This one is Global Information Technology Management. Should be fun. The books are actually really good reads, consisting of Michael Porter's seminal tomes on competitive strategy (only one was required, but Amazon had a great deal on the 3-volume set so I picked it up for less than half what the University bookstore wanted for it) and good study of how to apply Sun Tzu's Art of War to modern business.
It's not often that you run across textbooks that are actually enjoyable to read. In all fairness, however, these books weren't written as textbooks, but rather as books. For some reason, that seems to help. The closest approximation I've run across to a readable textbook was Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics, and the follow-up volume, Applied Economics.
Update from the last posting: There is no update. Still pursuing leads to explain what happened. Apologies to friends and family for the scare, but this is how life goes. One day you're running around the house with a red towel wrapped around your neck and your Underoos on the outside of your pants. Next day, you keel over. Life happens in between. Don't forget to live it.
Okay, enough morbid thoughts. Off to write papers!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Who Finished Who?
Well, the garage is clean. So is the office closet. I wanted to tackle the other closets and the filing cabinets but I have filled up the dumpster to capacity. So the rest will have to wait until another time. Still, I can look back and see the progress I have made and tell a real difference in the way these two parts of the house look. In a total of two intensive working days, I have thrown out enough stuff to fill up a big roll-off container.
Unfortunately, there were some brief side effects to all this.
About 2am this morning, I woke up with chest pains, shortness of breath, cold sweat, dizziness and nausea. The Missus roused the Gnu Herd in an air raid scramble and broke her personal best landspeed record rushing me to the emergency room. A bunch of checks later and we have ruled out heart attack. I'm home resting. That's the good news.
Bad news is, no one is sure what hit me or whether it was a one-timer or something that's coming back. We'll find out soon as I pursue answers. Wish me luck.
Unfortunately, there were some brief side effects to all this.
About 2am this morning, I woke up with chest pains, shortness of breath, cold sweat, dizziness and nausea. The Missus roused the Gnu Herd in an air raid scramble and broke her personal best landspeed record rushing me to the emergency room. A bunch of checks later and we have ruled out heart attack. I'm home resting. That's the good news.
Bad news is, no one is sure what hit me or whether it was a one-timer or something that's coming back. We'll find out soon as I pursue answers. Wish me luck.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Gnu Year's Day
All is quiet on New Years Day,
A world in white gets underway,
And I want to be with you,
Be with you, night and day.
Nothing changes on New Years Day.
-U2, New Years Day
Happy New Year everyone! We've now left 2008 behind, even if it did take one extra second to close the books. That's right, 2008 was a leap-second year. Who'dathunkit?
Now that the holidays are over and done with, I hope we can all get back to work without any further insanity. Just to be sure, here is my annual holiday postcard:
Okay, enough merriment. Back to work!
Speaking of work, the garage is now pristine and in perfect order. In other words, I threw out everything but the car. And I'm not too keen on keeping it, either. The dumpster is chock full of crap and I had to get in and jump up and down on the piles of detritus to make room for the office and closets. The construction company said the first ton of haul-away is free and he's only known two customers who ever went over that. I think I will make it into that rarefied category, given how much I still have to do inside the house.
Up next: the closets. Cover me, I'm going in!
A world in white gets underway,
And I want to be with you,
Be with you, night and day.
Nothing changes on New Years Day.
-U2, New Years Day
Happy New Year everyone! We've now left 2008 behind, even if it did take one extra second to close the books. That's right, 2008 was a leap-second year. Who'dathunkit?
Now that the holidays are over and done with, I hope we can all get back to work without any further insanity. Just to be sure, here is my annual holiday postcard:
Okay, enough merriment. Back to work!
Speaking of work, the garage is now pristine and in perfect order. In other words, I threw out everything but the car. And I'm not too keen on keeping it, either. The dumpster is chock full of crap and I had to get in and jump up and down on the piles of detritus to make room for the office and closets. The construction company said the first ton of haul-away is free and he's only known two customers who ever went over that. I think I will make it into that rarefied category, given how much I still have to do inside the house.
Up next: the closets. Cover me, I'm going in!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
More Random Thoughts
Last post of 2008, and it's more glimpses into the mad, mad, mad inner workings of my head. Enjoy the show!
So I'm on break from class, and what do I do to commemorate this? I order a construction rolloff dumpster to be delivered to the house so I can clean out the garage, closets, office and all the other various and sundry hiding places where junk has accumulated over the last several years. So far, I've filled it almost to capacity and I haven't even finished the garage cleanout phase yet. We're gonna need a bigger dumpster!
The Gnu Herd has discussed getting a puppy. The Missus wants a collie. I suggested "Melon" as a great name for a collie. It took her a few minutes to get the joke, then she threw a pillow at me. Could've been worse... how about a Shih Tzu named "Ho Li?"
There's an old saying from the hallowed halls of the Physics Department: "An object at rest remains at rest, unless that object is a man, in which case his wife will be along shortly to correct the situation." This is known as Newton's First Law with the Marriage Corollary.
Last week, The Missus asked me if wheat was a flowering plant. "Yes it is, like all grains and other grasses," was my answer. She then asked me, "Do they smell?" I replied, "No, silly, plants don't have noses!" And then she socked me. Being a smartass hurts sometimes!
The Missus also wants us to switch to Soy Milk for some godawful reason. I gotta know... where are the tits on a soybean plant??? Will MiracleGro make them bigger?
Okay, that's enough randomness for one posting. From all of us here at Gnu Central, have a Safe and Happy New Year!
So I'm on break from class, and what do I do to commemorate this? I order a construction rolloff dumpster to be delivered to the house so I can clean out the garage, closets, office and all the other various and sundry hiding places where junk has accumulated over the last several years. So far, I've filled it almost to capacity and I haven't even finished the garage cleanout phase yet. We're gonna need a bigger dumpster!
The Gnu Herd has discussed getting a puppy. The Missus wants a collie. I suggested "Melon" as a great name for a collie. It took her a few minutes to get the joke, then she threw a pillow at me. Could've been worse... how about a Shih Tzu named "Ho Li?"
There's an old saying from the hallowed halls of the Physics Department: "An object at rest remains at rest, unless that object is a man, in which case his wife will be along shortly to correct the situation." This is known as Newton's First Law with the Marriage Corollary.
Last week, The Missus asked me if wheat was a flowering plant. "Yes it is, like all grains and other grasses," was my answer. She then asked me, "Do they smell?" I replied, "No, silly, plants don't have noses!" And then she socked me. Being a smartass hurts sometimes!
The Missus also wants us to switch to Soy Milk for some godawful reason. I gotta know... where are the tits on a soybean plant??? Will MiracleGro make them bigger?
Okay, that's enough randomness for one posting. From all of us here at Gnu Central, have a Safe and Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thank You, Troops!
As we hustle and bustle about trying to get ready for the holidays, let's take a moment to remember those who can't be home for the holidays. If it weren't for our troops willing to stand in harm's way to defend our freedoms, we wouldn't be able to celebrate Christmas.
Please take a moment to send a postcard to a soldier stationed in a faraway land, and let him or her know you are truly thankful that we still live in a free country.
Click on the "(>)" arrow above to go to the link for the Lets Say Thanks website to send a postcard to a soldier serving our Republic overseas, in harm's way, defending our freedom. If you have trouble with the widget, then click here for the website!
A very special thank you to all those who serve our country and all our best wishes to you and your families!
Please take a moment to send a postcard to a soldier stationed in a faraway land, and let him or her know you are truly thankful that we still live in a free country.
Click on the "(>)" arrow above to go to the link for the Lets Say Thanks website to send a postcard to a soldier serving our Republic overseas, in harm's way, defending our freedom. If you have trouble with the widget, then click here for the website!
A very special thank you to all those who serve our country and all our best wishes to you and your families!
The Cure For Boredom
School is out (for both of us - YAY!!!!) and the year is winding down. The Christmas shopping is all done, presents are wrapped up under the tree, and we're all settling in for a long winter's eve cuddled up around the fireplace.
Or in my case, hunched over the computer, surfing. Yeah, I'm a hopeless geek.
When what do my wondering ears behold but a cell phone ring, heralding an incoming text message...
...it's from my daughter, sitting not more than two feet away from me, texting away on her phone. Geek in training? Could be. Let's see what she wants...
The Skating Gnu (via text): "Hi"
Me (reply via text): "Hi!"
TSG(vt): "I am bored"
Me (rvt): "Oh... Reeeeaaallllyyyyy??? I can fix that REAL easy!"
TSG(vt): "No thanks"
Me (rvt): "You can thank me later... after you finish the task list."
TSG(vt): "What task list?"
Me (rvt): "Hmm... let's see..."
TSG(vt): "Oh no"
Me (rvt): "1. Dust and vacuum the living room. 2. Clean your room. 3. Take out the trash and recycling. 4. Put away the clean dishes and load the dirty ones into the dishwasher. 5. Put away your clean clothes and pick up your dirty clothes."
TSG(vt): "Okay, I am no longer bored, so no thank you."
Me (rvt): "You can thank me later. NOW GET TO WORK!!"
TSG(vt): "Aaaaa... I am dieing!"
Me (rvt): "You are also spelling things wrong. I can add to your list if you like..."
TSG: [Jumps up out of her chair and scoots out of the room like a Gnu on a mission!]
And that, dear readers, is how you cure "Winter Break boredom!"
Or in my case, hunched over the computer, surfing. Yeah, I'm a hopeless geek.
When what do my wondering ears behold but a cell phone ring, heralding an incoming text message...
...it's from my daughter, sitting not more than two feet away from me, texting away on her phone. Geek in training? Could be. Let's see what she wants...
The Skating Gnu (via text): "Hi"
Me (reply via text): "Hi!"
TSG(vt): "I am bored"
Me (rvt): "Oh... Reeeeaaallllyyyyy??? I can fix that REAL easy!"
TSG(vt): "No thanks"
Me (rvt): "You can thank me later... after you finish the task list."
TSG(vt): "What task list?"
Me (rvt): "Hmm... let's see..."
TSG(vt): "Oh no"
Me (rvt): "1. Dust and vacuum the living room. 2. Clean your room. 3. Take out the trash and recycling. 4. Put away the clean dishes and load the dirty ones into the dishwasher. 5. Put away your clean clothes and pick up your dirty clothes."
TSG(vt): "Okay, I am no longer bored, so no thank you."
Me (rvt): "You can thank me later. NOW GET TO WORK!!"
TSG(vt): "Aaaaa... I am dieing!"
Me (rvt): "You are also spelling things wrong. I can add to your list if you like..."
TSG: [Jumps up out of her chair and scoots out of the room like a Gnu on a mission!]
And that, dear readers, is how you cure "Winter Break boredom!"
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Aces High
Whew! I am finally done with the financial courses in my degree. This fall has been nothing but repetitive number crunching. I know finance and accounting are important subjects to understand in a business and technology management curriculum, but I've had enough. I've learned a lot about money and finances that I've ben needing to know for a long time, but I feel like it has come at the cost of - well, what's the best way to explain this...
Momentum.
I feel like I lost momentum, as if I were sidetracked into a tangential line of research. I was on a roll, knocking out heady management topics and then got pulled aside to balance the damn checkbook. Now I've got to get my head back into the game with four more courses to go. The next four classes cover big topics: Global IT Management, IT Security, Project Management and the Capstone. I have no idea what to expect for that last one, and it's recommended to be the last course we take in the degree program. So I have definitely got to regain the momentum I had before I got dog-piled by balance sheets, capital budgets and call margins!
On the plus side, I aced both courses. The last one solely by the grace of a kind professor on a curve. Most of us tanked on the final exam so he cut us a break. Special thanks to Dr. Z for the holidays!
Momentum.
I feel like I lost momentum, as if I were sidetracked into a tangential line of research. I was on a roll, knocking out heady management topics and then got pulled aside to balance the damn checkbook. Now I've got to get my head back into the game with four more courses to go. The next four classes cover big topics: Global IT Management, IT Security, Project Management and the Capstone. I have no idea what to expect for that last one, and it's recommended to be the last course we take in the degree program. So I have definitely got to regain the momentum I had before I got dog-piled by balance sheets, capital budgets and call margins!
On the plus side, I aced both courses. The last one solely by the grace of a kind professor on a curve. Most of us tanked on the final exam so he cut us a break. Special thanks to Dr. Z for the holidays!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
A Banner Year for Dentistry
I have no idea how, when or where, but I seem to have really pissed off Saint Apollonia. Just got back from a mid-week visit to the dentist to get a filling refilled after it broke loose last week, and not more than two days later broke another tooth on the other side.
I expect representatives from my dental insurance to pay me a visit real soon demanding to know if I'm the one who's playing hockey not my daughter - whose teeth are still perfect!
I expect representatives from my dental insurance to pay me a visit real soon demanding to know if I'm the one who's playing hockey not my daughter - whose teeth are still perfect!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving Postcard From The Gnus to You
A special Thanksgiving Postcard from The Smoking Gnu and Family to all our family, friends and loved ones:
May you have...
More blessings than you can count,
More friends than your house has room for,
More joy than your heart can hold,
More turkey than you can eat!
May your...
Visits with relatives be brief,
Fellowship with friends last long,
Football games be awesome,
Cooking turn out just right!
Be forever thankful for...
A loving family,
A steady job,
A strong and free Republic,
Those who serve and protect us from harm,
God's blessings on us all!
Happy Thanksgiving!
May you have...
More blessings than you can count,
More friends than your house has room for,
More joy than your heart can hold,
More turkey than you can eat!
May your...
Visits with relatives be brief,
Fellowship with friends last long,
Football games be awesome,
Cooking turn out just right!
Be forever thankful for...
A loving family,
A steady job,
A strong and free Republic,
Those who serve and protect us from harm,
God's blessings on us all!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Proud Parents of a Skating Gnu
Indulge me a bit while I brag on my progeny...
Last semester she came home with straight A's and made the honor roll.
Last week she was promoted to First Clarinet in the band. That's the top spot for the class.
Yesterday, she scored two goals and almost made it a hat trick when she crashed the net on a breakaway.
Today, she was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society.
Tomorow... the world!
Last semester she came home with straight A's and made the honor roll.Last week she was promoted to First Clarinet in the band. That's the top spot for the class.
Yesterday, she scored two goals and almost made it a hat trick when she crashed the net on a breakaway.
Today, she was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society.
Tomorow... the world!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Flippin' the Bird
These things always seem to happen when I'm in the shower.
There I was, enjoying a steaming hot soak to wash away the sore muscles from yesterday's fundraisers. Yes, that's right: two fundraisers. One for The Skating Gnu's Youth Assembly and one for the Orphanage. Both were a lot of fun and wildly successful. But it was a long day. And I'm gettin' too friggin' old for long days on my feet.
I ache, therefore I soak. Ahhh......
I"m just getting ready to start the repeat cycle of lather-rinse-repeat when I hear a loud commotion from the other end of the house followed by this snippet of conversation:
The Skating Gnu: "What The FREAK!!!!"
Mrs. Gnu: "AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!!"
The Skating Gnu: [Raucous laughter]
As I scramble out of the shower I consider two options:
Option A: Someone is in trouble and I may need either a weapon or a first aid kit. Or both, depending on my aim.
Option B: There's a big, scary bug in the house again and my wife is just doing her usual freak-out over it.
Option B explains the laughter from my daughter. So rather than charge in towel-clad and dripping wet to attack whatever it is that's invading my house, I opt for the more calm approach and take a moment to put on some pants and my housecoat, assuring myself that the bug can't possibly be that big and scary despite the continuing screams (and laughter) emanating from the living room.
Nope. I miscalculated a bit on this one.
I walked in to the living room, expecting to see some tiny speck crawling on the wall and instead was dive-bombed by a flying object aiming for my head, followed by another scream from The Missus, "Watch out! It's a VAMPIRE BAT!!"
After extracting myself from under the coffee table, I was able to get a closer look at my attacker: a cute little wren had somehow flown inside and was now flitting back and forth from perch to perch in search of an escape path.
Me: "A vampire bat? Really? It's a bird, you Dodo. [The pun was completely lost on the pair of them. The bird wasn't amused either.] How is it that you manage to equate 'flying animal' with something that isn't even indigenous to this continent??"
Okay, so vampire bats go as far north as Northern Mexico. That's still a three-hour jet flight away from us. No idea how that translates into unladen swallow airspeeds...
The Missus: "I don't care! It's a Pterodactyl as far as I'm concerned and it's after me! Get it out!"
Okay, fair enough. I don my best "Dragonslayer" pose and get down to business.
My big plan was to shut all the doors to the rest of the house, hang blankets in the doorways and herd the little bugger into the dining room where I could open a window and let him out.
The Missus on the other hand, surprised all of us with her ability to simplify the best laid plans of mice and men (and vampire bats) by opening the back door and standing back.
Birds apparently do a better job with the concept of open windows and doors than houseflies do: he flew right out, not missing a wingbeat. Problem solved. Now all we have to do is check the high spots in the house for bird poop. I'm too short for that job so I'm leaving it to The Missus.
In answer to the smug look on her face from her commendable application of Occam's Razor, I reminded her that, knowing my luck, if I'd been the one to open the door our bird in hand would have been joined by every bird in the bush!
There I was, enjoying a steaming hot soak to wash away the sore muscles from yesterday's fundraisers. Yes, that's right: two fundraisers. One for The Skating Gnu's Youth Assembly and one for the Orphanage. Both were a lot of fun and wildly successful. But it was a long day. And I'm gettin' too friggin' old for long days on my feet.
I ache, therefore I soak. Ahhh......
I"m just getting ready to start the repeat cycle of lather-rinse-repeat when I hear a loud commotion from the other end of the house followed by this snippet of conversation:
The Skating Gnu: "What The FREAK!!!!"
Mrs. Gnu: "AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!!"
The Skating Gnu: [Raucous laughter]
As I scramble out of the shower I consider two options:
Option A: Someone is in trouble and I may need either a weapon or a first aid kit. Or both, depending on my aim.
Option B: There's a big, scary bug in the house again and my wife is just doing her usual freak-out over it.
Option B explains the laughter from my daughter. So rather than charge in towel-clad and dripping wet to attack whatever it is that's invading my house, I opt for the more calm approach and take a moment to put on some pants and my housecoat, assuring myself that the bug can't possibly be that big and scary despite the continuing screams (and laughter) emanating from the living room.
Nope. I miscalculated a bit on this one.
I walked in to the living room, expecting to see some tiny speck crawling on the wall and instead was dive-bombed by a flying object aiming for my head, followed by another scream from The Missus, "Watch out! It's a VAMPIRE BAT!!"
After extracting myself from under the coffee table, I was able to get a closer look at my attacker: a cute little wren had somehow flown inside and was now flitting back and forth from perch to perch in search of an escape path.
Me: "A vampire bat? Really? It's a bird, you Dodo. [The pun was completely lost on the pair of them. The bird wasn't amused either.] How is it that you manage to equate 'flying animal' with something that isn't even indigenous to this continent??"
Okay, so vampire bats go as far north as Northern Mexico. That's still a three-hour jet flight away from us. No idea how that translates into unladen swallow airspeeds...
The Missus: "I don't care! It's a Pterodactyl as far as I'm concerned and it's after me! Get it out!"
Okay, fair enough. I don my best "Dragonslayer" pose and get down to business.
My big plan was to shut all the doors to the rest of the house, hang blankets in the doorways and herd the little bugger into the dining room where I could open a window and let him out.
The Missus on the other hand, surprised all of us with her ability to simplify the best laid plans of mice and men (and vampire bats) by opening the back door and standing back.
Birds apparently do a better job with the concept of open windows and doors than houseflies do: he flew right out, not missing a wingbeat. Problem solved. Now all we have to do is check the high spots in the house for bird poop. I'm too short for that job so I'm leaving it to The Missus.
In answer to the smug look on her face from her commendable application of Occam's Razor, I reminded her that, knowing my luck, if I'd been the one to open the door our bird in hand would have been joined by every bird in the bush!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Dear America...
An open letter to the voters of the United States of America:
You have elected the government you deserve.
May God have mercy on us all!
Sincerely,
History
You have elected the government you deserve.
May God have mercy on us all!
Sincerely,
History
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
