Tuesday, December 27, 2011

You May Play In The Dust, But Please Don't Write In It!

Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? I supposed you have been wondering, Gentle Reader, what the flying hell happened to me.

Things to know:

1. Yes, I am still alive. I have, however, lost some close friends and family, and others close to me and the rest of the family are fighting for their lives. A lot of our time is spent helping them fight the good fight.

2. Yes, funny things still happen all around me, to me, with me and in front of me to other people. Adventures abound all around each of us, and I take pleasure in experiencing the rich wonders of life every chance I get - until some stupid asshole comes along and fucks it all up.

3. Yes, I am still teaching. Loving it, and with my new focus on writing-intensive curricula, driving my students to new heights of rancorous aggravation. (Mwahahahaha!)

4. Yes, the islands are still there, and we still scamper around in the sand every chance we get. It's rarer now, but the opportunity to go back and recharge our batteries still gets cashed in every once in a while. Here, have a picture or three as proof:

Sunrise over the Atlantic

Jockey's Ridge

AWESOME Dolphins Jumping in the Surf at Sunset!

See? The Postcards still come, they're just fewer than before. Maybe I'll get back into the habit soon. There's still plenty to talk about...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Beware Geeks Bearing Grifts

So, we had our Back To School night tonight at the college. All the faculty was on hand to welcome back students from their spring break. It was a lot of fun catching up with my students, most of whom seem to be following me from one class to the next in succession. I guess I was just meant to herd this particular group through to the end and send them on their way at graduation into the cold, cruel world.

Anyways, the college ordered an Imperial Fuck-Ton of pizza for tonight's soiree. By that, I mean four full-length tables piled five to seven pies deep end to end. Yeah, much more than a mere Metric Fuck-Ton. We had enough left over to send whole pies home with late-coming students who were initially worried they'd miss out on the comestibles only to find themselves hitting the mother lode.

As we were divvying up the remains, several of my students were still there talking with us and waiting to see if they were going to be bidden to the take-home feast. At which point, I picked up one of the sausage pies and spoke loudly to the group,

Please Do Not Throw Sausage Pizza Away!

How proud I was that every single one of my students got the reference, much to the consternation of most of the faculty who had no idea what we were giggling about. Some even recited the OSI model right back to me in correct form.

Looks like it's gonna be a good year after all.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Road to... Where?

I'm sitting in my office grading papers and could really use a drink right about now. The Missus is on her stationary bike working out.

Me: "Hey, can you please bring me a drink from the fridge?"

The Missus: "I'm on my bike. It'll be a while yet."

Me: "Just find a safe spot to pull over and pick me up me a soda right quick on your way back, will ya?"

The Missus: "Okay. Wait... what?"

Me: [guffaws]

The Missus: "I hate you, Larriken!"

I'd hate me too if I'd just been pwned like that.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Pollen Pun-ishment

It's no secret that this has started off as the worst pollen season in recent memory. Everyone is sneezing, hacking up their lungs and weeping out of every hole in their heads, even those hardy folks who normally are not affected - and by that I mean me. Yuck!

So yesterday I walked in to the room where several of my co-workers were huddled to avoid both students and light green tumbleweeds...

Co-worker: "AAAAA-CHOO!"

Me: [Resisting the urge to start barking - thanks, Coyote! I'll never be the same now!] "Bless you. What a mess out there. The pollen is really bad today."

Co-worker: "Thanks. Yeah, it makes you want to cut down every Pine tree in the state!"

Me: "Except that right now the biggest culprit are the Oak trees. But the Pine trees will have their day in the sun real soon..."

Co-worker: "Along with everything else in the woods!"

Me: "After all, every Dogwood has its day!"

And that was when they physically threw me out of the room.

Fortunately, pollen piled up and tied into bales makes for a soft landing.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Downhill from here?

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus

Or maybe with a poignant song...

Sigh. Another year gone by. Is this really where life begins or is that just bullshit?

This song really sums things up for me right now: I'm an over-forty victim of fate, down to rock bottom again (with just a few friends) and my occupation is nowhere to be found.

Gonna go get drunk now. Care to join me?

Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many.
- Plato