Success by Degrees

My diploma arrived in the mail the other day. Got my name on it and everything.

Now it really hits home what I've accomplished and how hard I had to work for it. It's been a month since I finished my last class. I have since tried to replace the time with other projects and spend time with my family, but the intensity of these activities does not match what was required to finish those classes. I've been mostly hanging around the house not knowing what to do with myself, getting under foot and driving my wife nuts.

Conversations of the Damned, Part XXIV

After a week of getting in my wife's way, she'd finally had enough...

Mrs. Gnu: "Get outta my way, will ya? Don't you have homework to do?"

Me: "Umm.... NO!"

(Pause)

Mrs. Gnu: "Wasn't there a PhD program you were interested in...?"

God help this poor woman the day after I retire!

Victory Dance

I've paid my dues, time after time,
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime.
And bad mistakes, I've made a few,
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face,
But I've come through.

We are the champions, my friends!
And we'll keep on fighting till the end!
We are the champions,
We are the champions,
No time for losers,
'Cause we are the champions of the world!

I've taken my bows, and my curtain calls.
You brought me fame and fortune, and everything that goes with it,
I thank you all.

But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise.
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race,
And I ain't gonna lose!

We are the champions, my friends!
And we'll keep on fighting till the end!
We are the champions,
We are the champions,
No time for losers,
'Cause we are the champions of the world!

Queen
We are the Champions

Grades were posted last night. I got my A. That gives me a perfect 4.0 GPA for my Master's Degree.

Holy Cow. A perfect score. It belies the fact that this was two long, hard years of intensive study like on other I've attempted. It may look easy, but I put a lot of hard work and long hours into it. And I definitely believe that I got a lot out of this effort. I'm a lot better prepared to tackle my career path, especially now that I've moved up into management. There's a lot I still have to learn, but I've learned a lot already that I can use every day.

Test anxiety has now been packed away and sent off to cold storage.

Now all that's left to do is order my graduation robes an mortarboard. My wife and daughter got a big laugh from the order form: it asks for my height. Smartasses.

Will I wear anything underneath?

Stay tuned...

For SCIENCE!!!

COTD Part XVIII: For Science!!

The Skating Gnu: Daddy, I need your help with a science experiment.

Me: Okay, what's the experiment?

TSG: (Reads assignment) Prove that you are matter.

Me: *poke*

TSG: Ow!

Me: *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* (you get the point)

TSG: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! STOP IT!!!!

Me: Quod Erat Demonstratum! I've proved you are matter, and as a bonus you are madder!

The End of the Line

Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove,
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love,
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine,
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line.

-End of the Line
The Traveling Wilburys

I posted my final, final exam this morning. I did it entirely by accident, however. Pushed the wrong button, but maybe it was a good thing. I was still reviewing my answers, tweaking my responses to the questions, and just all around agonizing over the damn thing. Time to be done with it. Worst I can do is flunk the test and if I've done my math right, I'll still pass the course with a C. Good enough to graduate, but I'd really like to get that last A.

What a long two years it's been. When I first started this, I had no idea how hard it would be to see it all the way through. I put a lot into this, and I feel like I've gotten every bit as much out, plus interest. Education is always a good investment, but more especially if you dive into it like there's no tomorrow.

So now, no more homework. no more reading thick textbooks or scrambling to organize research for papers. Test anxiety has been packed into a box and put in cold storage. I'm now in decompression mode, numb from the knowledge that I have lots of free time on my hands. It just feels weird not having so much stuff to do all night. I've accomplished something big for myself. It feels good, yet at the same time, a journey has ended. I've reached my goal.

This truly is the end of the line.

Time to start a new one.

Two Weeks Notice

Yep, that's right. Two weeks.

No, I'm not quitting anything. Tomorrow starts week 7 of 8 for my last class at the Graduate School. Wow. After two long years, it's finally coming to a close. The finish line is in sight. One last surge, the final push, dig deep and run like hell, eyes on the prize...

Just. Don't. Fucking. TRIP!

I'm holding on to an A in the last class, I. T. Project Management. With a death grip. Not letting go. I've maintained a perfect 4.0 average all the way through. All A's. Whoodathunkit?!?!

I kid you not, this has been a tough degree curriculum. This school is no easy ride. I put a lot of long hours into this, and I took every assignment seriously. That's just what you have to do to be successful. That's the advice I give every prospective student from grade school to grad school: you get out of it what you put into it. So dive in like there's no tomorrow.

Two more weeks, one more final exam, then I can start planning the party to end all parties. This one's gonna make the evening news.

April Update

Wow, where did the month of March go? It was just here a moment ago. Maybe I left it in my other jeans pocket and it got run through the washer. Oh, great, now I've got it all over my clothes. I'll never get that stain out!

Two birthdays down since my last posting. One for me, one for The Missus. I don't mind getting older - it sure as hell beats the alternative! I just wish it didn't hurt so much. The aches and pains of age are starting to pile on now. I had a follow-up with my doctor about a sharp pain in my side that's been bothering me for quite a while. After much poking and prodding - "Doc, it hurts right here," "Right there?" *POKE* "Ouch! Yes, dammit! There!" - we finally have a diagnosis. Somehow, I have managed to poke myself in the ribs... with my own floating rib! How the flying hell I managed to do that is anyone's guess!

Oh well. Another month gone, and anther class gone too. This last one was a real bear. (Run, Taco! The polar bears are going to college now!!) They have finally put a disclaimer on the Global IT Management course description that you will spend 30-plus hours per week on homework and research assignments. NOW they tell me! I worked my ass off in this class. Thirty hours is a low estimate, I figure with the weekends and late nights I spent close to 40 hours a week. Thankfully, I got an A to show for all my effort.

I've also gotten something else in the mail that left me totally floored. I have been invited to join an academic honor society at the Graduate School. Only the top 10% are invited. Wow. Just... wow. I never had the chance to do anything like this in my undergrad years. Then again, I never really applied myself like I should have back in those days. The induction ceremony is in May, so I've booked a flight, room and rental car, and I'll be heading down to the school for a couple of days of ego massaging.

I could use the break from work, too. Let's see, where were we in the continuing saga of transitioning to management...

Oh yeah. Delivering bad news. I've never been an expert at this. It reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where they have one doctor that is so good at delivering the "you're going to die" news that the patient and family are left cheering. I can't do that. It's not the avoidance of confrontation or lack of courage, it's the knowledge that I'm doing something that will impact someone's life and career. I want to ensure I have my facts straight before making a decision from which there's no turning back.

I spend a lot of time on the job sticking up for my team against other groups who don't appreciate all that we do, so having to break a boot off in their asses is difficult, even if they do deserve it. I remind myself that it's not personal, and I also try to say that after I have to jerk a knot in someone's head. I'm not sure if they believe me, though. The real problem is if you keep on having to get all over someone who's not doing their job, they're certainly going to convince themselves that everyone's out to get them.

The team has been through a lot this past year: upper management upheavals, a new boss to learn to deal with, pay cuts, layoffs, and the work keeps piling up. It's no surprise they're worn out from all this. Coming in from the outside, it's been a real challenge for me to learn all the nuances of how things work at the company, who's a straight shooter, who's a bullshitter, who's the real superstar, who's the slacker, and who isn't getting the attention they need or deserve. It would be a lie to say that I've got a handle on it, because the moment I think I got things under control, something will happen to bust it all loose again.

You never truly understand these challenges until you cross over to the other side of the desk. That was the biggest surprise of all to me. I've got a lot left to learn...

Meanwhile, I only have three courses left. This one I'm halfway through now is Intro to IT Security. After that, I'm kinda putting the cart before the horse in taking the capstone course (Advanced Information Systems Management) next, then IT Project Management. The capstone is supposed to be the last one but I don't want to wait an extra semester to take it when it's offered next after this coming semester. If all goes well, I'll be done by the end of August. Graduation is in December, exactly 20 years after I graduated with my Bachelors. Expect the party to end all parties.

What a long, strange trip it's been. Hey, wasn't that a song...?

Going Global

Well, it's a holiday weekend, and what do you suppose I'm doing to celebrate it?

Yep, you guessed it. Another class has started and I have three assignments due by tomorrow. Finished one last night, two more to go.

This one is Global Information Technology Management. Should be fun. The books are actually really good reads, consisting of Michael Porter's seminal tomes on competitive strategy (only one was required, but Amazon had a great deal on the 3-volume set so I picked it up for less than half what the University bookstore wanted for it) and good study of how to apply Sun Tzu's Art of War to modern business.

It's not often that you run across textbooks that are actually enjoyable to read. In all fairness, however, these books weren't written as textbooks, but rather as books. For some reason, that seems to help. The closest approximation I've run across to a readable textbook was Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics, and the follow-up volume, Applied Economics.

Update from the last posting: There is no update. Still pursuing leads to explain what happened. Apologies to friends and family for the scare, but this is how life goes. One day you're running around the house with a red towel wrapped around your neck and your Underoos on the outside of your pants. Next day, you keel over. Life happens in between. Don't forget to live it.

Okay, enough morbid thoughts. Off to write papers!

Aces High

Whew! I am finally done with the financial courses in my degree. This fall has been nothing but repetitive number crunching. I know finance and accounting are important subjects to understand in a business and technology management curriculum, but I've had enough. I've learned a lot about money and finances that I've ben needing to know for a long time, but I feel like it has come at the cost of - well, what's the best way to explain this...

Momentum.

I feel like I lost momentum, as if I were sidetracked into a tangential line of research. I was on a roll, knocking out heady management topics and then got pulled aside to balance the damn checkbook. Now I've got to get my head back into the game with four more courses to go. The next four classes cover big topics: Global IT Management, IT Security, Project Management and the Capstone. I have no idea what to expect for that last one, and it's recommended to be the last course we take in the degree program. So I have definitely got to regain the momentum I had before I got dog-piled by balance sheets, capital budgets and call margins!

On the plus side, I aced both courses. The last one solely by the grace of a kind professor on a curve. Most of us tanked on the final exam so he cut us a break. Special thanks to Dr. Z for the holidays!

Proud Parents of a Skating Gnu

Indulge me a bit while I brag on my progeny...

Last semester she came home with straight A's and made the honor roll.

Last week she was promoted to First Clarinet in the band. That's the top spot for the class.

Yesterday, she scored two goals and almost made it a hat trick when she crashed the net on a breakaway.

Today, she was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society.



Tomorow... the world!

Halfway There!

Oh, we've got to hold on,
Ready or not.
You live for the fight
When that's all that you've got.

Oh, we're halfway there,
Whoa-oh! Livin' on a Prayer!
Take my hand,
We'll make it I swear!

-Bon Jovi
Livin' on a Prayer

This week marks exactly the halfway point in my Master's degree program. Halfway through the sixth course out of eleven total. But it's not all downhill from here. That line of thinking leads to complacency. I can't afford to get cocky, lazy or just plain scared. We've reached the point of no return. Best thing to do now is stay the course and see this through to the victorious end.

I have learned a lot going through this program. Not just new ideas or filling in the gaps between what I know so that I can be better at my job. I've learned a few things about myself too. For starters, I can do it. However tired and frustrated I get, I know that I can buckle down and fight my way through the problem.

I've stayed up till 3am working on assignments, then got up the next day and put in 11 hours at work, come home and visit with the family, cook dinner and do it all over again till the work is done and turned in. I've read, re-read and re-re-read the same case study, rewrote the same analysis, tweaked the problem answers for the umpteenth time till they're right. I've aced open-ended essay exams on less than 4 hours of sleep.

I've had teachers and classmates tell me I'm working too hard. That I could "get by" on half the effort. Bullshit. When I write my assignments, I'm writing for myself, not the class. I'm getting something out of the exercise that I can keep long after the grade is written down. I'm learning for myself, about myself, to better myself.

I'm also learning a lot about budgeting my time. I have a feeling that once I'm done, I'll have my schedule nailed down so well that I'll end up bored stiff. What will I do with all that extra time?

Don't tell The Missus I said that!

No Accounting For Sleep Deprivation

The new mattress arrived today. So why am I not snuggled up in bed testing it out? Simple: accounting homework due by 12 midnight Pacific time.

Nothing like pushing those deadlines, huh?

The delivery of the new wondernest was a nightmare and a textbook case of how a company can lose business one pissed off customer at a time. More to come on that story. First, I gotta finish learning how to balance a goddamn annual statement. Then study for a test tomorrow.

Four and Out

Just finished my final exam for the fourth class in my degree. Database Management. Ugh. Databases are not my strong point, but I gave it my best, so we'll see how it goes. I've had my nose in a book all month in the evenings, and the same aforementioned nose to the grindstone at work during the day. Weekends? What are those?

Some good news on other fronts for the month to report. The Skating Gnu finished her first year of middle school at the top of her class, "A" honor roll. They gave her a medal and everything. I think she's still walking on air, and frankly, she deserves it. She put a lot of effort into her studies and that has been a source of inspiration and motivation for me as well. I wonder if she thinks this is a competition... well, it's working so, shh! :-)

Mrs. Gnu went off for a long weekend out of state to hang out with her best friend. Apparently they had a good time from all the giggles and wild stories they brought back. As for me, I had the house all to myself: the Skating Gnu was off to another state convention.

House all to myself, no adult supervision... you know what that means: stereo blasting 80's hair metal and an epic air guitar festival! WOO-HOO!

Post-Script - July 3

Having my nose to the grindstone may not do wonders for my looks, but it seems to work for my grades. Got an A for the class.

*RIGHTEOUS AIR GUITAR SOLO*

Off Probation Now!

Okay, let me explain. No, I'm not in trouble with the Law. At least, not that I know of. Let's step into the Wayback Machine and revisit this.

Back already?

Okay, remember that letter I got from the Graduate School? It said my admission was provisional, pending my performance in class and getting some prerequisites done. Well, in the interim, they rolled the prerequisites into the regular core courses, so all I had to do was keep a B or better in my first 3 classes.

Got my final grade back today for the Management of Software Systems class. Made an A. Once again, ass kicking deferred. The final exam was crazy, though. There's open-ended questions and then there's "write me a book about ___." I wrote 26 pages, then changed the font and margins to save some trees, even still I had 21 pages to turn in. I think I heard weeping on the other end of that email.

So that's now three A's for my coursework. A 4.0 GPA. Not too shabby a start. This means that the provisional status is removed and I'm now a fully admitted Grad Student in Good Standing. Yahoo! (Or you can yell Google! Whatever trips your trigger.)

It's been hard keeping up study discipline the past three semesters. Work gets so insane that it takes time away from reading, research, writing and just plain old nose-in-the-textbook studying before test time, but that's what pays the bills, so I just cowboy up and deal with it. My boss is working on his Master's too, so he's sympathetic and helpful, too. It's good, because we can trade on-call support nights with each other for class time and such.

Besides work, I got family, community projects, lawn care (grass doesn't mow itself - but what an AWESOME genetic engineering project we could work on!!) and at some point, working off the sleep debt. Everyone has been really supportive, and I can't thank you all enough.

I've still got a long way to go, and it's only going to get harder. I hope I can stick with it. Discipline, hard work, and dedication are what it's going to take. Support from friends and family help a lot too. Onward!

Writer's Block

I have a paper due Sunday. My second one for the Organizational Behaviour class I'm taking this semester. The first one was a complete success - got a 100 on it. I have never, ever scored that high on a paper before. I was flabbergasted. Unfortunately I feel like I set way too high a standard because all week I've been struggling with ideas for this paper.

Writer's block is a raw, howling, untamed bitch sometimes. I'll get started on an idea, then it grinds to a stultified impasse as I run headlong into one dead end after another. All week, I've been tossing topics, notes and ideas into the trashcan, which is now resembling some sort of forlorn Think Tank of Misfit Ideas.

Until this morning.

Inspiration is like a bolt from the blue: it hits you at the most unlikely moments, and when it happens to me, I am always awestruck at the human mind's capacity to solve problems without overtly thinking about them and come with the most unlikely of solutions at the most unexpected moments. In this case, it hit me in the shower this morning. (No, I did not drop the soap!)

I stepped out of the shower and told Mrs. Gnu, "Hey, I finally found a topic for my paper!"

Mrs. Gnu: (annoyed at the growing puddle on the carpet under my feet) "Where'd you find it?"

Me: (returning the sarcasm with interest) "In the shower, right where I left it. Oh, and last night I found Jesus. He was behind the couch all this time."

Never tangle with an inspired smartass...

Ass-Kicking Averted... For Now!

No, I was not kidnapped and probed by aliens. Nor was I lost in the Bermuda Triangle. Wasn't whacked by Mrs. Gnu for yet another prank or bad joke (jury's still out on this one though - stay tuned).

I have been super-busy with work and school. I don't usually talk about work here, and for good reason. It's the same reason I don't go to office parties: why the fuck would I show up for a social engagement just to stand around and talk about work?!

Anyways, the crunch is over, we're approaching the year-end code freeze. Finally, some time to breathe and rela-OH CRAP! My Final Exam!! I'm four chapters behind, working 14-hour days, gotta sleep sometime... screw that, I'll sleep plenty when I'm dead!

That's what my life was like last week. Scrambling from one project emergency to another as the entire company races to make year-end deadlines before the freeze takes effect. Run home from work, hit the books till the wee hours, wake up at Zero-dark-30 do it all over again. All day Saturday and Sunday, I read, re-read, reviewed, wrote, and tried to cram as much information into my head as I could without making my ears bleed.

The final exam had to be completed before midnight, Sunday. Four hours, multiple choice and essay - not just any essay, open-ended questions! "Tell me everything you know about...____!" Arrgh! Well, not much use complaining, just buckle down and hack through it. If I don't know it now, I never will.

Test anxiety was stuffed in a box and shipped to the Outer Hebrides. No time for self-doubt. I finished the exam with three minutes to spare out of four hours allotted time. Phew! My fingers were tired from the non-stop brain dump. But it was over.

Made a 94. That was below my average for the class (96.8) but enough to finish off with a solid A for the course. Yay!! No ass-kicking for me!

I feel like I've actually accomplished something. It was a tough class, actually. I learned a lot, which helped to solidify what I already knew from my own experience and add to it in ways I hadn't had the opportunity to explore before. I'm glad I put in all the extra effort because the study habits I've gained will come in handy when I'm faced with even harder courses down the road. I'm already working ahead on next semester's course. The books arrived the week before this class's final, and it was really tempting to crack them open and get a head start. One class at a time.

Next semester: Organizational Behaviour. A psychology course... hmm. Mrs. Gnu says I should do well because I like to fuck with peoples' minds and I'm a first-class bullshitter. She's got a point.

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

School days, school days,
Dear old golden rule days.
Readin' and 'ritin' and 'rithmetic,
Taught to the tune of the hickory stick.
You were my queen in calico,
I was your bashful barefoot beau,
And you wrote on my slate,
"I love you, so"
When we were a couple of kids.

William D. Cobb, 1907

Dear Mr. [Smoking Gnu],

Congratulations, you have been approved for admission as a provisional student in the Master of Science degree program in Information Technology...

Well folks, this is where the rubber meets the road.

My acceptance letter arrived today from the Graduate School. Wow, this is for real now. I'm officially accepted, complete with a stern admonition to earn a 3.0 GPA or else. These folks don't fool around. This is serious work. I'll have some prerequisites to complete before I become a regular student, hence the "provisional" notation.

I'm ready. Apprehensive, but ready to begin. I've been reading ahead in the course book, taking notes and working the exercizes to prepare myself. It's been a long time since I've had to take tests that really count for something. This is a much higher level than the technology certifications I've done in the past; I could always retake those until I got it right.

I'm glad I started reading ahead. I'm getting myself into some good study habits, and brushing up on my test-taking. The quiz work at the end of each chapter was a wake-up call. No rushing through: take your time, choose the best answer. Double check your work. Same thing I've been telling my daughter for her schoolwork, now she's fussing at me in return. She's earned the right to do that just a little.

She's making straight A's this term. Yay, Skating Gnu!

Were it to G-d I should be so lucky in my studies!