Friday, September 14, 2007

It Ain't Rocket Science...

My first set of course books arrived today. Yay, study time!! My inaugural class is MGT 5014: Information Systems. Let's see what's inside the textbook:

Foundations of IS (good start)
Computer Hardware (snort)
Computer Software (snicker)
Telecom and Networks (guffaw)

I've only been doing this for nearly 20 years. The first few chapters cover things I can do in my sleep. If I don't ace this course, I'll break a boot off in my own ass and I'll invite each of you to form a line to do the same, cuz I'll sure as hell deserve an ass kicking.

What I am afraid of, on a more serious note, is getting overconfident. I don't want to get cocky, so I'm definitely approaching this with the seriousness it deserves. So even though the class doesn't officially start for another three weeks, I'm cracking the book, reading ahead and preparing for whatever quizzes, tests and other assignments will be coming my way.

My wife, on the other hand, needs to be sent off to remedial driving school. Or at least rudimentary mechanics. I think I've mentioned before how dumbfounded she gets when faced with anything that has knobs, dials, gears, flywheels, buttons, levers and/or blinky lights. Today, she called me up at the office in a panic. It's raining outside, and she has the wipers on, driving around town on errands.

"So what's the problem," I ask.

"The wipers are not going faster when I turn the knob! And, OMG I turned the knob to 'Off' and they're still going!!"

"Wow, that is weird. Okay, if the wipers are still going, you're still driving, and it's raining, stop fiddling with the buttons! As long as they're going, even if it they are going slow, don't keep messing with them or they may stop working altogether on you. Go home, and I'll look it over when I get home tonight."

I'm thinking maybe an electrical problem or something. Seems logical. No. It was simpler than that. Much simpler. Paris Hilton simpler...

She called back later, laughing her ass off. She figured it out when she got in to the garage: the knob she was fiddling with the whole time was for the headlights, not the wipers. So the whole time she was flipping the "wipers" off, on, and on full, she was signaling the entire highway with her headlights.

Another day in the life of a crazy married couple... Wouldn't trade it for the world.


The Taco Prophet said...

larriken said:

What I am afraid of, on a more serious note, is getting overconfident.

Good idea, says I. If it is easy enough that you deserve to be overconfident, go ahead and nail the easy A. If not... good thing you got a head start.

E. S. Collins said...

So we all get to come to the party when you finish, right?

The Taco Prophet said...

If we're not invited, we're crashing it, drunk and naked.

Larriken said...

Um... then you're definitely *not* invited!

Tim said...

I remember the first computer course I had in college. We didn't even turn on a computer until after the first test, which was just a picture of a computer and we had to identify things like the power button, keyboard, etc.

The temptation to blow off that first two weeks was strong, but I didn't. It's a bad habit to get into.

E. S. Collins said...

I'd be more afraid of the temptation to be a smart ass. I'd have labeled things as "the port where I jack myself in to send my reports to the mothership" and so on.

Larriken said...

It'd have been really difficult for me to avoid labeling everything relative to porn.


Monitor: Porn Viewer
Keyboard: Download More Porn
Hard Drive: Heh.. hard... drive...
CPU: Central Porn Unit
Mouse: Photoshop Bigger Boobs