Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Beyond that point, there be dragons...

From first to last,
The peak is never passed.
Something always fires the light
That gets in your eye.

One moment's high,
Then glory rolls on by,
Like a streak of lightning,
That flashes and fades
In the summer sky.

-Rush, Marathon
Power Windows

Well, I've reached the point of no return. Or maybe the "Point of Know Return" if you're from Kansas. I have passed the midway point of the class. So far so good. It's been a helluva challenge though, juggling work, family, school, sleep. This is no cakewalk, but I'm glad I'm doing it. We had our mid-term exam last week. I stayed up late reading , re-reading, re-re-reading - you get the picture. Reviewing notes, lectures and chapters till I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I really, really wanted to do well on the exam. For me, it was affirmation that I knew the tricks of my trade, that I am on the right track.

Problem is, I have test anxiety. Specifically, I go into exams confident and as ready as I can be, but halfway through, that dark-matter part of my brain marked "Doubting Thomas" starts second-guessing my answers. Is the answer A or is it really C? Did I answer that essay question completely enough? Did I write down too much and in doing so get it wrong? This armchair quarterbacking continues long after the exam is over until the grades are posted. Until then, sleep is fleeting. It bothered me all through school and I guess I never got over the problem. It's come back in spades.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Grades were posted yesterday afternoon. I aced that mother. I was in shock and had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things, but I'm a happy Gnu tonight. "Thomas" has been stuffed back into the cobwebbed recessed of my mind.

For now.

Finals loom large in the near future. Here, there be dragons.


Bluejeangirl said...

Congratulations! Of course, everyone knew you could do it. :)

E. S. Collins said...

The trick is to be an arrogant jerk, like me. I go into tests, smirk at them and their cuteness, zip through and see ya later.

Oh and congrats and stuff and things. It seems you're the only one around these parts that actually doubts you.

suyapi said...

Congrats and much luck (all good) on the up and coming finales.