Random Thoughts

It's been a crazy month. The dog days of Summer are here, it's 110F outside (no, really!) work is insanely busy (I like that part because I hate sitting still with nothing to do) and... well.. it's just crazy. And I just now realized it's been almost a whole 'nother month since I updated this. C'est la vie!

So, here are some random thoughts that popped into my mind recently. Psychology students looking for dissertation material, pay attention, please...

I was driving home today and got stuck behind a minivan (scourge of the highway!!!!) that had one of those bumper stickers that said, "Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid." I want one to put on Mrs. Gnu's car that says, "Embarrassed Wife of an Opinionated Asshole." They cost less in bulk, anyone else want in on the deal?

As much as I agree with those who say round up all the illegal immigrants and ship their criminal asses back where they came from and build a big wall to keep them out, I still can't escape one nagging thought: Now you know how the Cherokee felt! Are we destined for our own Trail of Tears into exile on the shores of Baffin Island?

So the Little Gnu starts sixth grade on Monday. I'm moping around feeling old just thinking about that. Told Mrs. Gnu that I'd feel younger if we had another baby. Now I feel old and I'm bruised and aching all over. Ow!

When tax time rolls around again, how many welfare brood-mares, illegal aliens and third world tinpot dictators can I write in as dependents on my form 1040?

I walked into a Starbucks and didn't order a "tall" or a "venti" or a goddamn "grande" drink. I ordered a Large. Kid behind the counter said, "Oh, you mean the Venti, right?" I replied, "No, large. I don't speak 'Idiot.'" The look: priceless.

Well, my skull is now empty. Hope you've enjoyed this tour of the insane confines of my head. Please watch your step as you exit the vehicle...